2003-12-31 - 10:00 p.m.

WHOOOOOOO! It's HOGMANAY!!!! LET'S GET WASTED!!

This is definatley the worst night of the year to venture out of the house. Bonfire night is close, with it's rampaging hordes of deliquent pyromaniacs, but tonight holds a special sort of misery to anyone who doesn't appreciate the crypto-fascist doctrine of cheer and nailed-on smiles. To paraphrase Holden Caufield, New Year's Eve is totally phoney. All that hand-shaking and kissing and stuff - ewww. I'm too busy wasting my own years to care too much about anyone elses. What exactly is there to celebrate? Time? Pah! If you want to play that game, why not give a little cheer every second until you go insane? At least Christmas has it's heart in the right place. Forget the cards and novelty songs, it's good to give people presents once a year and get something good to eat. All New Year has is people that don't usually drink, getting drunk and taking up room at the bar. Then there's that moment of drama when you persuade someone to have a "party" which just turns out to be a bunch of drunk people sitting about, using the word "man" a lot before going home and puking. Or, you could hook-up with some stupid drunk girl who doesn't care about you but can't bear not to taste her share of the limelight. It's an awful, awful night.

This whlole idea of having a night where everyone has to get drunk bothers me. Unless you have the ability to make small talk and seem interested in the banal utterences of the New Year's Drunk, then you're instantly pigeon-holed as a party-pooper, or misery guts. No, I'm not miserable, you're just an asshole and I'm quite happy taking a piss by myself without listening to what you're going to do later tonight. Oh! But It's New Year! Don't be like that! Oh, fuck off. I can get drunk without consulting the calender, and I don't like feighning attraction to skanky girls or shaking hands with someone I'd usually cross the street to avoid. If all these people like each other so much, then why wait until the last night of the year to say so? Isn't it taken as read that if you hang out with someone on a regular basis, that you like them? Or, at least that you don't hate them as much as some other people you know? This whole "Let's get drunk and THEN shake hands" deal sounds a bit rotten to me. My point is, treat every night out like December 31st or just don't bother going out at all. Stay in - you'll save money and you won't get hassled by cunts.

I don't mean to sound like some reactionary grouch, but I hate this idea of forced enjoyment. I've always considered the best day/nights out to be the ones that just sort of happen on the fly. Whenever you plan something to the nth detail, it's invariably disappointing. New Year is the ultimate example of this: you MUST get drunk, you MUST cop off, you MUST NEVER STOP SMILING. You are here to celebrate, and celebrate you will! Hogwash. When socialising, I like a little leeway. The odd moment to myself, the right not to be constantly hyserterical. This is rapidly turning into a staying home Vs going out argument, so I'll stop. But, New Years can go lick a lama's asshole.

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