2005-10-30 - 12:22 a.m.

In Martin Amis' flawed but brilliant novel The Information, failed author Richard Tull is tormented by the success of his friend and fellow scribe Gwyn Barry who has written a shitty book that has become massively popular. It seems to Richard Tull that everything he reads contains a reference to his omnipresent literary nemesis, an obsession that drives him to insanity. I feel like this about the word "genuinely". More than the infatuation of comedy hacks with The Office that leads every review back, Godwinn's Law style, to Rick Gervais, more than the perpetual fellating of Franz Ferdinand from the music scribblers, the misuse, abuse and concomitant uselessness of "genuinely" gives me internal screaming.

It's fucking lazy is what it is. A poor man's "very". What does "genuinely disturbing" mean? Don't you just hate all those faux-disturbing films? "I watched Saw and it totally freaked me the heck out. It was genuinely disturbing and I'm going to need therapy. No, hold on, wait a minute, I think that upon reflection it was only bogusly disturbing and I'm going to be OK...". When someone tries to gloss a turd with "genuinely" you have to ask yourself who they're trying to convince. If you stoop to this level, what you're saying is "I don't have the confidence and talent to espouse my yammering succinctly, so I'm going to inject a pointless adverb into my withered vein of dribble in order to bolster my worthless opinion." It's a mouthful, eh?

If you think something is funny, then just put "funny". Or "mirthful", "humourous", "rib-tickling" or whatever. But don't put "genuinely funny" because that makes you sound like an asshole. It discredits your assertion by making you look guilty and finicky - "I'm pretty sure it's OK to laugh at this, despite my prejudices and panic". Language can be beautiful but it doesn't have to be complicated.

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