2006-01-17 - 1:59 a.m.

"You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself. Combine these traits with your hatred of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Not only that, but you are also a very humble person--not a braggart at all--meaning you could possibly have low-self esteem. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn't care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven't gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak!"

Fucking hell, they nailed it. The combination of shyness and brutality that has thus far been my undoing. These tests are gay as a window, but it's 2am, I've had a couple of drams and that up there made me giggle. If I was Randal in Clerks, I might be saying, "I hate people but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?" right about now. Warning to the curious: this entry contains pop culture references.

Since when was burrying emotions a bad thing, though? I'm with "smartass New York Jew" Jerry Seinfeld when he says that people saying "I love you" or "I hate you" are two statements that you really don't want to hear. The man who coined the sobriquet that I ascribed to everyone's favourite wearer of white sneakers is Randy Newman, the sardonic piano man who sang "Feelings might go unexpressed, I think that's probably for the best." Damn right. I long for the day when people can hold their tongues*. After watching Michael "Bonkers in the nut" Barrymore weeping for sympathy (poor man's empathy) on Celebrity Big Brother, it ossifies the need for celebrities to be aloof and mysterious. Give me crypitc over needy any day. Everyone's got an opinion and you can bet dimes to donuts that they're going to share it with you, whether they know what they're talking about or not. Welcome to mine own bully pulpit, my brothers. If you're ignorant of something, then just say so. "I don't know" is much ballsier than regurgitating some impotent rhetoric. Don't succumb to bullshit as it doesn't help anyone. Tact is fading while posturing spreads like cancer. Look at the news: "This is wot I fink, right..." Yes, voxpops are totally insightful and worthwhile, and not just a way to pad out a moronic concession to puff. Talk about what you know, cunt, and if you don't know anything then educate yourself or shut the fuck up. I blame the nig-nogs. Look at the working classes yelling at each other on morning chat shows and the spurious advice given to them by middle class mountebanks in suits. What the fuck makes anyone think that "closure" is real, let alone attainable? The shit-wind howls on. John Lydon said that "Anger is an energy". Well, I'm feeling pretty energetic about the media just now.

*When Gannymede was asked whether he held his tongue because he was a fool or for want of words, he replied, “A fool cannot hold his tongue.”

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