2006-01-27 - 2:52 p.m.

You're going to love it, Stephanie. You're going to be so grateful. There's putty in my hands. I'm not sure what to do with it, but it's there. I'm getting into the spirit. This has been good for me and eventually it'll be good for us. Us! Doesn't it have a lovely ring to it? I must temper such thoughts while the task is at hand. I've been hard at work every night. I can work better at night, it's quiet and still and that suits me just fine. I can concentrate and regulate. It's a utile escape from my web of deceit. I'm doing it for you. I'm stripped to the waist and sweaty and I know that's going to be represented in the finish. If I were a carpenter it would be finished already, but I'm just a dabbler with big dreams and an eating disorder. Did I tell you I'm down to two bottles a day now? He says I'm making real progress. The pain is worth it for you, Stephanie. You're going to love it.

From what I've seen of you, I know you like reading. I like it when you wear those spectacles, they frame your eyes like the proscenium of a truly wonderful play. We'll go to plays together, Stephanie, you and I. We'll look so good together. Oh, you're going to be so enamoured of this bookcase! I'm sanding it with care and devotion. It's going to be everything that you never knew you deserved. Oh, Stephanie, when I think about you stroking this wood I become somewhat teary. It's riveting, planing, sawing - real manly stuff that I know you love. I've seen the look of boredom on your face when another sallow suitor makes with the wooing. These shelves will say in furniture what I sometimes have trouble saying with words. Remember when I used to phone you and hang up before I could say anything? I bet you laugh about that now! I'm not so shy anymore, you'll find that out, Stephanie. This bookcase will prove what you've always suspected. You're going to love it.

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