2006-06-14 - 1:20 a.m.

"It's a super wine for drinking on its own. Why not try it with party snacks, salads and quiche? Serve well chilled."

Thanks for that, Asda. I was just about to warm it up with a hairdryer and serve it up with some chilled monkey brains. Well chilled? Do you think I could drink your cheap shitty wine anything other than well chilled?
I want to know who bought this big bottle of piss and then got in a panic about what to serve it with. Who do Asda think they're catering to? This is anemic slosh in a 1.5 litre bottle - the sort of people that buy it couldn't really give a fuck what species of grilled squid goes best with it, and I include myself in that description. "It's super..." Oh, just fuck off, Asda. Like anyone's going to serve this ordure up to a wedding guest and say "Oh Gosh, Philip, don't you find it's just super with the quiche?"

However, "Contains! SULPHATES."

Now it's getting exciting!

previous - next